themaefive:

axonsandsynapses:

yuletidekarkat:

dannygayhealani:

creatingaquietmind:

the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)

I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.
ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.
the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!

With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said. 
"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get
"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.
"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."
Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations. 
"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.
Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.

#linguistics #a.k.a. how I learned to stop worrying and love the evolution of the English language without being a discriminatory elitist jerk (via crystalandrock)

This a million times

themaefive:

axonsandsynapses:

yuletidekarkat:

dannygayhealani:

creatingaquietmind:

the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)

I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.

ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.

the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!

With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said. 

"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get

"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.

"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."

Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations. 

"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.

Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.

  (via crystalandrock)

This a million times

leiathewriter:

My name is the doctor. I’ve lived for over two thousand years and I have fucked some shit UP.

vvendys:

all you need to pass school tbh

vvendys:

all you need to pass school tbh

fatwink:

one of the major flaws with sex is that i have to get naked

  • Friend: *sneezes*
  • Me: Bless you
  • Friend: *sneezes five more times*
  • Me: chill

cyclopette:

*wakes up at 9* nice

*immediately falls asleep, wakes up at noon* less nice

qrieves:

Someone probably took a bite out a bar of soap for this aesthetic so let’s take a moment to thank

qrieves:

Someone probably took a bite out a bar of soap for this aesthetic so let’s take a moment to thank

denchgang:

whichversionofyou:

insonniac:

I’m gonna kick this kid’s ass

my auntie is headteacher at the school that this kid goes to and apparently he asked to receive some sort of medal or something in assembly for this


i hope every person he meets goes hey you’re that fucking nerd boy

denchgang:

whichversionofyou:

insonniac:

I’m gonna kick this kid’s ass

my auntie is headteacher at the school that this kid goes to and apparently he asked to receive some sort of medal or something in assembly for this

i hope every person he meets goes hey you’re that fucking nerd boy

dogs99999:

My best friend is a middle school teacher and she just told us that she farts on students that she doesn’t like. She like pretends to circle around the class while they do classwork and just stops at certain students and farts in their personal space. It was recommended to her by a fellow teacher. Just want you guys to be careful out there.. Whether you’re in high school or college just…. Just be careful. Especially in the public school system

floozys:

lgbtqa+ people are like spiders because a) we’re more scared of you then you are of us because you fucking murder us and b) we can shoot webs from our butts

misternumbers:

someone please take bilbo baggins home he doesnt need to see death and destruction and feel the pain of loss hes too innocent for that someone take him home